


Ravin

by TaergaLive



Series: Baldur's Gate 3 one-shots [10]
Category: Baldur's Gate
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:14:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28485921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaergaLive/pseuds/TaergaLive
Summary: "People are either petty and selfish or pathetic and weak. The first group preys upon the other, and even then, there’s always a bigger fish. And for a very long time, that bigger fish was always Cazador."Sephrin asks Astarion what she means to him, and to her surprise, Astarion answers.
Relationships: Astarion (Baldur's Gate)/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Baldur's Gate 3 one-shots [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2061618
Comments: 8
Kudos: 47





	Ravin

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to add to this, like have something happen other than the conversation, but every time I tried, it just felt forced. So now you just get a short conversational piece and character development.

“What am I to you?”

It’s a question he expected but still wasn’t ready to answer. 

He sighs, lacing up his boots. He really thought she was too drunk to remember asking, but it turns out he was wrong. 

The sun brightens the room the two of them shared with, of all people, her brother. But Glynren was already up and out of the room, waiting for them to join them downstairs. Astarion was actually the first in the room to wake, making a comment to Glynren about trusting him to be alone in the room with Sephrin. Despite the animosity that still lingers between the two, Glynren smiled and said he’d rather be anywhere else than in the room when his sister awoke. It wasn’t the first time Glynren alluded to his sister being a nightmare in the morning, but the few times Astarion slept by her side, he hadn’t noticed her being a terror. In fact, in his experience, she was quite pleasant in the morning. 

This morning, however, she wasn’t as pleasant as usual, but she was still far from a terror. She sat up groggily, making low moans like a cat who’s been bothered. Astarion couldn’t help but smirk. He only gave her four glasses of wine, but she still ended up a bit hungover. For a half-hour, she just sat in the bed, staring at her hands. When she finally spoke, those were the first words to him:

“What am I to you?”

Now that his boots were laced, he tries to think of something else to occupy his time. Perhaps he could pretend to have not heard her. But he can feel her eyes on him, searing into his back.

“Must we do this now?” Even before the words are out, he knew it would sound too harsh. Glancing behind him, he can see the damage done. She sinks back into the bed, can see her already starting to withdraw back into herself. Sighing, he moves to the bed, placing a hand atop her head. “I would rather...talk about it later. When the others aren’t so nearby.”

“You’re ashamed of me,” she whispers, her voice catching. 

“No,” he replies instantly. “No, that’s not…that’s not it. I need...time.”

“...for what?” 

“To...process. To get my thoughts in order.” 

When she looks up at him, Astarion can see she’s on the verge of tears, trying desperately not to break down in front of him. With a sigh of defeat, he sits on the edge of the bed beside her, hunched over in thought. Watching him, Sephrin tries to read his expression, his eyes cloudy. She casts her eyes downward as if to give him privacy. 

“I’m not a people person, Sephrin,” he begins at last, and as he speaks, he gradually livens up, gesturing more. “I’m sure you’ve noticed that by now. I haven’t been one for a long time. Not for a lack of social etiquette, mind you. Simply put, I despise them. People are either petty and selfish or pathetic and weak. The first group preys upon the other, and even then, there’s always a bigger fish. And for a very long time, that bigger fish was always Cazador.

“My job was to find people to bring back to him. People for him to toy with. People for him to  _ feast  _ on. And it couldn’t be just anyone, Sephrin. No, Cazador accepted only the best the city could offer. The Elite. Nobles, politicians, knights in gilded armor. You can’t just pluck these people off the street. You have to lure them in, bait them. And  _ that _ , I was good at. My time as a magistrate made reading people easy. And so that’s what I’d do. I’d read people, their expressions, the way they held themselves. Within a few minutes, I could very well predict what they would say next, how they would react to certain suggestions. I could steer them to say what I wanted them to say, to do what I wanted them to do.”

Sephrin watches him as he speaks. It certainly isn’t what she was expecting, but she isn’t going to stop him. This is the most he’s ever spoken about his time in Baldur’s Gate, his time with Cazador. He hadn’t been looking at her as he spoke, but now he turns to her. 

“That night I drank from you, I sought you out on purpose. I had been watching you, studying you, and I could tell that out of everyone, you were, simply put, the weakest. You wouldn’t put up a fight, or if you did, I could overpower you with ease. But I didn’t think it would come to that. I honestly wasn’t expecting you to wake up that night. So I had to act quickly. I knew if I kept the conversation between just you and me, I still had a chance to save my skin. I was going to come up with some sort of excuse, but then, for some reason, I decided to take a chance. I told you the truth. I...had this feeling you would be understanding. Something in your eyes said you were the empathetic type. And, of course, I was right. I thought at the very least you wouldn’t scream and alert the others. Perhaps even keep it a secret. Letting me drink from you...that was lower on my list of expectations. But then you did. 

“I don’t know how to explain to you how...euphoric that was. In an instant, I knew why Cazador had forbidden me to drink from people. I lost myself in the taste, the warmth it brought. Truth be told, I’m not sure how you’re still alive, as I had no intention of stopping. I wanted  _ all  _ of you. That moment was the happiest I had felt in centuries. But I had promised myself I wouldn’t let it go to my head, that I would keep my composure. I kept you at arm’s length, keeping you enticed enough to want to help me and yet far enough away to keep you from fearing me.”

Looking away, he shakes his head. “And then I learned I was wrong. I was wrong in my initial assessment of you. There was something underneath the pusillanimity. You saw through me, through my little game, and you called me out on it.”

Sephrin raises her brows. She really wasn’t expecting to hear that. Though as he says it, she thinks back to when they first really got to talk to one another.  _ “My dear girl, is that what you think of me? After I’ve practically poured my heart out and told you my secrets?”  _

_ “It’s not likely you would care. Everything you do has a purpose to it, and that purpose is to benefit you. You didn’t want to help the Tieflings when we first met them. In fact, you still argue about it each day we try. You have no sympathy toward any other people we meet under the mind flayer’s control. You have no problem striking down anything that gets in our way, even if they don’t deserve it. So why would I think for a moment that you actually care about my wellbeing?”  _

When he looks back at her, he smiles as if he knew what she was thinking. “You were absolutely  _ ruthless _ , and I loved every second of it. I’m hardly ever wrong in my assessments of people. Somehow, you managed to fool me. I mistook your timidness as innocence, that you were afraid of others because you were weak. But no, you’re afraid of others because of what they’re capable of, that anyone could be a monster in disguise. So young, and yet so jaded. But what I couldn’t figure out was why you would say you trusted me and yet still coward before me. And then I saw it; you were taken with me. You were afraid of what I could do and, at the same time, enamored.”

Despite knowing this already, Sephrin feels her face turning red. “I, I was afraid of you, yes, but I was afraid of everyone.”

He laughs. “Yes, I could tell. And so I wanted to stay on your good side, make you trust me over all the others. Keep you on my side of the playing field, so to speak.” 

She frowns. “But why?” 

There’s a pause before he shakes his head. “I don’t know.” 

“Astarion…”

“I mean it,” he insists. “I’m...I’m still not sure why I did so. I did not think you would be a powerful ally. And I knew the more I pulled, the more I angered your brother, and that wasn’t going to help me at all. And yet I still did it. I still pushed. I still…” he holds his hands toward her, trying to think of the word. Finally, he clutches his hands closed and sighs in defeat. “I  _ clung  _ to you.”

Astarion suddenly shifts to face her. “You need to understand,” he says, boring his eyes into hers. “You need to understand that everything I’ve said, all of this...I could  _ still _ be manipulating you. Do you understand that?”

Her eyes search his, trying to understand. Why? Why, if he was trying to manipulate her, would he tell her that? And why, if he  _ wasn’t _ trying to manipulate her, would he put that fear into her mind? But she nods. 

His expression hardens. “And yet, after all that, you still trust me, don’t you. I can see it in your eyes. Why?”

Again, she feels tears welling in her eyes. It sounds so stupid to her, and yet it’s the only explanation she can offer. “Because I want to believe that...you care about me.”

That makes him look away. And then shake his head with a joyless laugh. “You’re killing me, Sephrin. Do you know that? You’re  _ killing  _ me.” Before she can process his words, she feels his arms wrap around her. He pulls her to him. 

One hand rakes through her hair. “I don’t know what you’ve done. You’ve wormed your way into me, like this damned tadpole. Hells, maybe it  _ is _ the tadpole. I don’t know anymore. I tried to drive you away, and yet you still came back. I wouldn’t hesitate to turn on any of the others if I thought it would benefit me, but...when it comes to you, I can’t bear the thought of hurting you. Sephrin, you’ve  _ ruined _ me.” 

These aren’t the words she wanted to hear. They twist her stomach and make her cross-eyed. But she didn’t know what to expect. There was no way he was going to confess his undying love for her. She’s not even sure she’s ready to hear such a thing. But she’s not sure what to make of all of this. She’s ruined him? It sounds awful, yet the way he holds her, the way he caresses her is soft, loving almost. 

She feels she needs to say something. “I’m...I’m sorry.”

Astarion rests his cheek against her head. “You should be. You should be. I’m supposed to prey on you. I’m supposed to  _ use  _ you. But I don’t...want to.” 

Despite the seriousness of the conversation, Sephrin murmurs, “I mean, you don’t  _ have _ to use me if you don’t want to.” 

He shakes his head. “I’m sure one day I will.” A kiss to her head. “But, until then, you’ll...just have to trust me.”

The two of them stay that way for a time, quiet, processing. As enamored as she is, Sephrin isn’t blind to the thousands of red flags waving in her face, screaming at her to abandon ship. Everything Astarion just confessed to her, she should end things now, protect herself. She shouldn’t trust him in the slightest. Even if his intentions were pure, even if he cares about her in his own way, was it worth the uncertainty? Was it worth all the second-guessing? Was it worth possibly being a pawn in his little game?

Or was he the only one playing? After all, isn’t this what she wanted, him to hold her in his arms, him to adore her? Could it be possible she was winning a game she hadn’t realized she was playing? She shouldn’t trust a word he says now that she knows he could just be trying to win her over, and yet she will. She will because, as she said, she  _ wants  _ him to care for her. And she can’t help but wonder if that makes her any different from him. 

Astarion pulls her away, and in an instant, he has his usual haughty smile. “Well then. We ought to get going before your brother busts the door down in fear of the vile things I’m surely doing to you.” 

Nodding, she wipes away a few stray tears. She wants to talk about this more, but she knows better than to push it. She managed to wiggle this much out of him. In time, she’ll get more. 


End file.
